爆笑一年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄

　　冷笑話具有強(qiáng)大的生命力,一時(shí)間大紅大紫,廣泛流行于互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、論壇、博客、電子郵件、電視綜藝節(jié)目、喜劇電影、書(shū)籍、雜志等媒體中。下面小編整理了一年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　一年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄

　　逮捕(中英)

　　A distinguished professor was arrested yesterday at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, Texas while trying to board a flight with a calculator, protractor compass, and slide rule. The security crew immediately searched the elderly man when they saw him boarding with a calculator in his hand. A search of his handbag revealed the devices. The man was charged with carrying instruments of math instruction. Further investigation has revealed he is a member of the A1一Gebra terrorist network.

　　昨天，一位著名的教授在德克薩斯州休斯頓市的布什國(guó)際機(jī)場(chǎng)被逮捕。這位教授在登機(jī)時(shí)攜帶了計(jì)算器、量角器、指南針和計(jì)算尺等工具。安全檢查人員當(dāng)看見(jiàn)他手中拿著計(jì)算器準(zhǔn)備登機(jī)時(shí)迅速搜查了這個(gè)老人。在對(duì)他的手提包的搜查中發(fā)現(xiàn)了上述設(shè)備。這個(gè)男人將會(huì)被指控?cái)y帶數(shù)學(xué)教學(xué)器具。進(jìn)一步的調(diào)查表明這位教授是一名代數(shù)恐怖組織網(wǎng)絡(luò)成員。

　　一年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話鑒賞

　　不要和小孩子爭(zhēng)論(中英)

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　一個(gè)小女孩正在和她的老師討論關(guān)于鯨魚(yú)的事情。

　　The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　她的老師說(shuō)，對(duì)于一頭鯨魚(yú)來(lái)說(shuō)，從身體構(gòu)造的角度看它是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。因?yàn)樗纳ぷ臃浅Ｐ?，盡管鯨魚(yú)是一種非常巨大的哺乳動(dòng)物。

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)約拿(一位西伯來(lái)先知)就是被鯨魚(yú)吞掉的。

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　她的老師非常生氣，她又一遍告訴小女孩說(shuō)，從鯨魚(yú)的身體構(gòu)造角度來(lái)講，是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”

　　那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō):“那等我到了天堂我就會(huì)問(wèn)問(wèn)約拿的。”

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　她的老師問(wèn):“那如果約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”

　　The little girl replied, `"Then you ask him”

　　那個(gè)小女孩回答:“要是那樣的話，你就去問(wèn)他。”

　　一年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話賞析

　　則食物標(biāo)簽的可能性(中英)

　　The label on the sauce packet that came with my bento lunch reads:

　　在我中午吃的盒飯送的調(diào)料包上，有一個(gè)標(biāo)簽是這樣的:

　　"For purposes fried pork，chicken and beef.”

　　“為了目的，油炸豬肉，雞肉和牛肉。”

　　Obviously，there's a grammar problem here. My first thought was that a preposition was missing. But which?

　　很顯然，這句話有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤。我最開(kāi)始想到的就是少了一個(gè)前置語(yǔ)。但是哪一個(gè)呢?

　　"For purposes of fried pork，chicken and beef?”

　　“為了油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉的目的”?

　　"Purposes for fried pork . . .?”

　　“油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉的目的”?

　　"Purposes about fried pork . . .?”

　　還是“關(guān)于油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉的目的”?

　　None of them made any sense. Then I realized the problem might not be grammar at all but merely spelling, when I remembered that the Japanese government permits the hunting of cetaceans:

　　沒(méi)有一句聽(tīng)上去讓人能明白。這時(shí)我意識(shí)到，問(wèn)題也許不是出在語(yǔ)法上，而僅僅是出在拼寫(xiě)上。我想起來(lái)日本政府是允許獵殺鯨類(lèi)的，所以應(yīng)該是:

　　"For porpoises, fried pork，chicken and beef.”

　　“用于鯨魚(yú)肉、油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉。”