幽默與笑話同是社會(huì)交往活動(dòng)中不可缺少的交際手段。下面小編整理了超短英語(yǔ)笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話摘抄

　　守門(mén)員(中英)

　　The local football team I had just joined needed me to play goalkeeper in their next Saturday match. Because I was late completing the registration forms I was not yet officially a member, so I was told to tell anyone who asked that my name was Les Faulkner-a member of the team who wasn’t playing. That Saturday，during a quiet interval in my goal area, a man appeared behind the net. “Hello ,”he said to me.“What’s your name?”“Les Faulkner,”I replied. “Nice to meet you,” said the man. “I’m your father.”

　　我參加的那個(gè)地方足球隊(duì)要我在星期六的比賽中當(dāng)守門(mén)員?？晌覜](méi)能及時(shí)的填好登記表，所以沒(méi)能成為正式的隊(duì)員。所以他們告訴我，如果有人問(wèn)我是誰(shuí)的話，我就告訴他，我叫利斯·弗克尼，一名當(dāng)時(shí)不在場(chǎng)的隊(duì)員。星期六那天，在比賽間隙，有一個(gè)男人出現(xiàn)在了球網(wǎng)的后面。他對(duì)我說(shuō):“喂，你叫什么名字?”“利斯·弗克尼。”“哦，很高興見(jiàn)到你，”這個(gè)男人說(shuō):“我是你爸爸。”

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話鑒賞

　　請(qǐng)張開(kāi)嘴(中英)

　　Doctor: Please open your mouth, Madam.

　　醫(yī)生:”請(qǐng)張開(kāi)嘴，女士。”

　　Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.

　　女士:“非常感謝您，醫(yī)生。”

　　Doctor: Why do you thank me?

　　醫(yī)生:“為什么要感謝我呢?”

　　Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.

　　女士:“因?yàn)槲业恼煞蚩偸墙形野炎扉]上。”

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話賞析

　　最長(zhǎng)與最短(中英)

　　A teacher asked one of his students: "What is the longest and what is the shortest?"

　　老師問(wèn)他的一個(gè)學(xué)生:“什么最長(zhǎng)，什么最短?”

　　The student answered immediately: "The last several minutes of a class is the longest, while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest.”

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生馬上回答說(shuō):“下課前的幾分鐘最長(zhǎng)了，考試前的兒分鐘最短。”

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞

　　一元錢(qián)(中英)

　　The teacher asked Tom:"Why did you come to school so late this morning?"

　　老師問(wèn)湯姆:“今天早上你為什么遲到了?”

　　"Someone lost one dollar.”Answered Tom.

　　“有個(gè)人丟了一塊錢(qián)。”湯姆回答說(shuō)。

　　"Oh，now I know money ,”the teacher you helped him find said.

　　“噢，我知道了，你幫助他找錢(qián)了。”老師說(shuō)。

　　"No,I stood on the money until the person went away," was Tom's reply.

　　“我一直站在那一塊錢(qián)上，直到所有的人都走了。”湯姆回答說(shuō)。

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話品味

　　洗臉(中英)

　　Teacher: David，why don’t you wash your facie`? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning?

　　老師:“戴維，你為什么不洗洗你的臉呢?我都看得出來(lái)你今天一早上吃的是什么。”

　　David: What was it?

　　戴維:“我吃什么了呢?”

　　Teacher: Eggs.

　　老師:“雞蛋。”

　　David: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.

　　戴維:“不對(duì)，老師，那是我昨天吃的。”

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀

　　偉大的科學(xué)家(中英)

　　Teacher; Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?

　　老師:“誰(shuí)能告訴我有關(guān)十八世紀(jì)的偉大科學(xué)家的一些事情呢?

　　Pupil: Yes, sir, I can. They are all dead.

　　學(xué)生:“老師，我可以，他們都死了。”

　　超短英語(yǔ)笑話學(xué)習(xí)

　　太快與太慢(中英)

　　A man traveling at 130 miles per hour on the road was stopped by traffic police.

　　一個(gè)男人把車開(kāi)到了每小時(shí)130英里的時(shí)速。警察把他攔了一下來(lái)。

　　“Sorry, officer.” Said the driver, “Was I driving too fast?”

　　“對(duì)不起，警官，”司機(jī)說(shuō)，“我是不是開(kāi)得太快了?”

　　“No, sir. You were flying too slow.”

　　“沒(méi)有，先生，你只是飛得太慢了。”