在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，希望大家喜歡!

　　生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：生日派對(duì)

　　On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.

　　在教師節(jié)里，一位幼兒園教師正在接受孩子們送給她的禮物，首先花匠的兒子遞上他的禮物。

　　A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.

　　我敢打賭我知道里面是什么……是一些花。

　　B:That is right, but how did you know?

　　是的，可是你是怎么知道的呢?

　　A:Just a wild guess.

　　瞎猜的。

　　(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.

　　第二個(gè)學(xué)生是糖果店老板的女兒。老師把她送的禮物舉起來(lái)。)

　　A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.

　　我敢打賭我知道里面是什么，是一盒糖果。

　　C:That's right. But how did you know?

　　對(duì)了，但你怎么知道的?

　　A:Just a lucky guess.

　　碰巧猜出來(lái)的。

　　(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.

　　第三份禮物來(lái)自于酒店老板的兒子，老師把它舉起來(lái)，但有液體漏了出來(lái)，她用手蘸了一滴漏出來(lái)的液體，嘗了一下味道。)

　　A:Is it wine?

　　是果酒嗎?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.

　　老師又用舌頭嘗了一滴漏出來(lái)的東西。)

　　A:Is it champagne?

　　是香檳嗎?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　A:Now, I give up. What is it?

　　好吧，我猜不著了，里面到底是什么呢?

　　D:A puppy.

　　是一只小狗。

　　生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：狂歡圣誕

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

　　小鎮(zhèn)的一個(gè)警官讓一個(gè)在主大道上超速駕駛的摩托車(chē)手停下來(lái)。

　　A:But officer, I can explain.

　　長(zhǎng)官，請(qǐng)聽(tīng)我解釋。

　　B:Just be quiet, I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.

　　閉嘴，我要讓你在監(jiān)獄里冷靜冷靜，直到警長(zhǎng)回來(lái)為止。

　　A:But，officer, I just wanted to say. . .

　　但是，長(zhǎng)官，我只是想說(shuō)……。

　　B:I said to keep quiet!You're going to jail!

　　我說(shuō)過(guò)閉嘴，你要進(jìn)監(jiān)獄了!

　　(A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner.

　　兒個(gè)小時(shí)后警官去看囚犯。)

　　B:Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.

　　幸虧警長(zhǎng)今天參加他女兒的婚禮去了，回來(lái)后他心情肯定比較好。

　　A:Don't count on it，I'm the groom.

　　別指望啦。我就是新郎。

　　生活幽默英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)：新潮電玩誕

　　Professor is handing out the examination papers to a roomful of students.

　　教授正在給全班學(xué)生發(fā)考卷。

　　A:You will have exactly two hours. Under no circumstances will accept a paper given to me after the deadline has passed. Do you under-stand ?

　　你們有整整兩個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間，超過(guò)規(guī)定時(shí)間交上來(lái)的考卷，不管什么原因，我絕對(duì)不收，明白嗎?

　　B:Yes.

　　是。

　　( After two hours.兩小時(shí)以后。)

　　A:Time is up.

　　時(shí)間到。

　　B:Wait.

　　等一下。

　　(About 15 minutes later. A students come to the platform and give his paper to the professor.

　　大約巧分鐘以后，一個(gè)學(xué)生走向講臺(tái)，并把卷子給了教授。)

　　A:Didn't you hear what I said?

　　你難道沒(méi)聽(tīng)到我說(shuō)的話(huà)嗎?

　　R:Yes，I did. But do you know who I am!professor?

　　不，我聽(tīng)到了，但你知道我是誰(shuí)嗎，教授?

　　A:No.

　　不知道。

　　B:Terrific.

　　太好了。

　　Then he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile.

　　然后他把他的考卷塞進(jìn)整堆考卷中。